Three Knight songs (2016)

Dur. 13’

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(Etheridge Knight 1931-91)

“The turbulent life of the American poet Etheridge Knight is often directly and viscerally embodied in his poetry, which often examines issues of race, class, and Black culture. The selected poems speak of heartbreak, loss of innocence, and uncertainty of what is to come.” (program note from first performance)

I. FEELING FUCKED UP

Lord she’s gone done left me done packed / up and split 
and I with no way to make her 
come back and everywhere the world is bare 
bright bone white crystal sand glistens 
dope death dead dying and jiving drove 
her away made her take her laughter and her smiles 
and her softness and her midnight sighs—

Fuck Coltrane and music and clouds drifting in the sky 
fuck the sea and trees and the sky and birds 
and alligators and all the animals that roam the earth 
fuck marx and mao fuck fidel and nkrumah and 
democracy and communism fuck smack and pot 
and red ripe tomatoes fuck joseph fuck mary fuck 
god jesus and all the disciples fuck fanon nixon 
and malcolm fuck the revolution fuck freedom fuck 
the whole muthafucking thing 
all i want now is my woman back 
so my soul can sing.

II. FOR FRECKLE-FACED GERALD

Take Gerald. Sixteen years hadn’t even done 
a good job on his voice. He didn’t even know 
how to talk tough, or how to hide the glow 
of life before he was thrown in as “pigmeat” 
for the buzzards to eat.

Gerald, who had no memory or hope of copper hot lips— 
or firm upthrusting thighs 
to reinforce his flow, 
let tall walls and buzzards change the course 
of his river from south to north.

(No safety in numbers, like back on the block: 
two’s aplenty. three? definitely not. 
four? “you’re all muslims.” 
five? “you were planning a race riot.” 
plus, Gerald could never quite win 
with his precise speech and innocent grin 
the trust and fists of the young black cats.)

Gerald, sun-kissed ten thousand times on the nose 
and cheeks, didn’t stand a chance, 
didn’t even know that the loss of his balls 
had been plotted years in advance 
by wiser and bigger buzzards than those 
who now hover above his track 
and at night light upon his back.

III. APOLOGY FOR APOSTASY?

Soft songs, like birds, die in poison air 
So my song cannot now be candy. 
Anger rots the oak and elm; roses are rare, 
Seldom seen through blind despair.

And my murmur cannot be heard 
Above the din and damn. The night is full 
Of buggers and bastards; no moon or stars 
Light the sky. And my candy is deferred

Till peacetime, when my voice shall be light, 
Like down, lilting in the air; then shall I 
Sing of beaches, white in the magic sun, 
And of moons and maidens at midnight.

Lyrics from the poems "Feeling Fucked Up", "For Freckle-Faced Gerald", and "Apology 
for Apostasy?" from The Essential Etheridge Knight Reader, by Etheridge Knight,
© 1986. All rights controlled by the University of Pittsburgh Press, Pittsburgh, PA 15260.
Used by permission of University of Pittsburgh Press.